Never Enough “I Just”

Time runs by in blinks and blips. I don’t think there is enough money to afford anyone enough time to do what needs to be done. You’ve heard me say, “It was just yesterday when…” Yet it is always just moments away in the span of consciousness.

One of my biggest pet peeves are people living in the past. There are too many people always talking about how good it was and never how good it is. I grew up with your average family tree whom gathered to talk about the past as much as they could. I think a lot of people spend so much time thinking about the past that they never give themselves a chance to create a future.

Remember when I told you somewhere that youth was an epic moment? In youth we are invincible and the older we get the less chances get taken. I challenge myself to remain invincible. The creeks and haunting nature of growth are understood. They follow me everywhere. I am reminded to not take certain chances like I used to. After all, you can only take so many chances until your luck runs dry. Right … or not?

For a lot of humans I think they feel it was good enough to just live excitedly once and then pack it all in for a lifetime of memories. They walked the tight rope once and got fired out of a cannon, but “now it’s time to take it easy.”

The only thing that changed for me was how difficult the experiences are to come by. The older one gets the more responsibilities they are forced to pay for. If you can’t continually strike it rich then you go from paycheck to paycheck doing what you can – and only what you can. There are less chances to run off and just adventure. 

I find myself locked in a pattern of “I just want.” I can’t tell you how many times throughout my day I start a private thought with I just. I just want to run away. I just want more money to have more fun. I just want to fall in lust. I just want to explore dangerously dark caves. I just want to sit on the beach. I just want to write a book. I just want to climb another mountain. I just want to be loved. I just want to eat lavishly. I just want to write another column. I just want to inspire another viewer. I just …

For my generation (ageless, a specific slice of time, not a minute sooner and not a minute later) I blame the evolution of the Internet for making all of my adventures all that harder. The Internet used to be like a commune of artists and raconteurs. My adventures were easier because we shared the experience and therefore the burden of expense. Today they call it couch surfing or something like that. Where you go on a website and see who is offering their couch (sofa, chesterfield, etc.) to roaming strangers seeking daring experiences as they travel the world.

In my slice of Internet history we didn’t need a website for couch surfing advertisements. The entire Internet was that place. We had websites that told the in depth details of our very beings and therefore made us more trustworthy than the websites of today. We’d chat for days, nights, months at a clip to then set a meet & greet of strangers in a strange city. We’d meet. We’d share the expense. We’d share the experience.

Nowadays I don’t know you and you don’t know me. You come to my city and stay in a hotel. We’ll meet for coffee and Instagram pictures. Blasé blah blah blah. It’s certainly not how it used to be. Now the expense is all on us. The experience is less shared. Even the coffee is purchased by Going Dutch.

There is never going to be enough time to fit in all of the experiences a human ought to have in their lifetime. They have to fit in the blips and beeps around all of the blasé distractions. They must work for 50 hours per week in the tar pits and schedule that one vacation a year of which they still cannot afford when they finally get to it.

Be that as it may all I can say for sure is: Experiences … I recommend you keep having them.

A Bird I Once Experienced, by Artist D, Spring 2009, Atlanta GA

A Bird I Once Experienced, by Artist D, Spring 2009, Atlanta GA

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