The Disconnect

On the Internet things are measured much like they gauge dog years. The first year of a dog’s life is the approximate equivalent to 7 human years. The time on the Internet moves just as quickly. The Internet is a lot like a dreamscape for a lot of us. As we fly in our dreams we fly through the Internet’s many corridors of thought, experience and theory. We are able to quickly absorb numerous philosophies and digest them into our own. Here we are able to experience the tittering patter of first love, the desire for commitment and the hatred of break up all within one night on one chat platform. We are allowed to travel to the other side of the globe and take a look from street view as if we were really standing right there. Internet years go so fast because you can live your life one second after another within a snap of a circuit.

I’ve been entertaining on the Internet since October 1999 and I’ve been living on the Internet since 1997. In only a few more years I will have known an Internet existence for almost 20 years. This is probably not an interesting concept to some younger people as they’ve been living with the Internet since they were born. It’s a unique experience when you’re old enough to remember life without the Internet and know the changes it has suffered.

The early stages of my life on the Internet made me feel like Max Headroom. I was trapped inside of it and everything out in the day to day world was static. The story of my childhood crossed paths with the Internet at just the right time. It was a unique opportunity that will never look quite the same again. I was able to retreat to what was the new dreamscape of the Internet when the world outside my door would not have me. The Internet took me in and showed me how to function as a person. It gave me confidence in myself. It allowed me to explore all of the things in my head. I was able to travel the world through my CRT monitor late into the night.

As I grew up and got out more I was able to socialize offline thanks to all of my experiences online. I had accomplished great things on the Internet and had many friends, fans and admirers. I made a large amount of money on the Internet just being me and pouring my heart out throughout my teenage youth. The Internet built my backbone for the interactions that I encountered terrestrially. I would bet that the person I would have been without the Internet would have been a sad simile.

The Internet of today is not the Internet of yesterday. The fact that I’ve been online since 1997 should mean (thanks to dog years) that the age I feel is much older than the age I am. On the Internet I am a Crone. I am in my digital rocking chair chasing the Grumpy Cats off of my digital lawn. I continue to create and pour myself into it, but feel like it’s not the world I built. Talk about Crone mentalities!

Throughout each Internet journey I embark upon I have to find a way to develop my contributions to fit the new world order. There isn’t at least one day each month where I wish to delete all of my Social Media accounts and retreat to a page with a blog, much like the one you see here. But then I wonder who would find me or if anyone would care. For as much of an old Internet soul as I may be I worry about turning into the old soul talking to an empty house. I’ll keep the Facebook and the Tweeter if only for people to find me out here in the real world of the Internet. That social network business isn’t the real Internet, it’s the American Online version just without the disc coming in the mail. Don’t be fooled or disenchanted. One day we’ll have our Internet world back where people are out here writing, photographing, videoing and pouring their heart out. While the normal crowd can stay safely tucked away on their segregated social network walls.

The Artist D, June 2005

The Artist D, June 2005 – Cotton Candy Hooker Edition

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