Never Good at Goodbyes

Life is a forever mutating piece of work. It’s no wonder people get caught droning along in an inescapable pattern. It’s easy to become a slave to it once you realize that things outside of the pattern are swirling like mud in space. The people of Earth love a good template to follow so things feel better on the inside. It’s the birth, education, marriage, career, and retirement model that most people sign up for. This paints lives with a broad brush while giving humans just a tiny bit of push and shove to make them still feel accomplished.

If you remove the normal templates it is easy to see chaos theory in action. I’ve always enjoyed playing many parts within this one and only life I am lucky enough to live. On the stage of life mine must look like a Cher concert with a new costume change with each and every song! I’ve always moved from one thing to another as quick as possible in order to cram another experience in. A lot of these shifts have been subtle, but most of them have been drastic and heartbreaking.

It’s important to never let heartbreak get in the way of important changes to continue your journey. It’s more important to never stop yourself from making a heartbreaking decision just because it’s heartbreaking. That’s where people being people get all tied up in minutia. It’s very hard to tell your family that you will leave them and go on your own way. It’s very hard to leave a marriage, even if you weren’t having all that much fun, because it’s leaving the comfort of a known construct. We get extremely used to the holes we dig ourselves into and even unhappiness becomes a familiar addiction to continue.

Life acts like ocean waves. It will bring things to you and pull things away from you. It will push you here and there. Sometimes the more you fight the more you get pulled under. Other times the waves will be tsunamic and the flow of the universe will make all of the drastic decisions for you.

Death is one of life’s natural decision makers. Death is the pinnacle of loss and separation. If you thought leaving home broke your heart or signing the divorce papers ripped a hole through your house, all those things become so less permanent when death washes into your harbor. It is as great of an equalizer as all of those poets said it was. No matter who you are and how well you ramble along, sooner or later your path and the path of all those connected to you will be drastically altered by death.

It is how we live with death that makes all of the difference when it comes to it. Are we to let tsunamis destroy us or just shift us out to sea for another round of adventure? Since I cannot explain death or understand how it really even fits, I take it as a natural wave of loss that swirls around and eventually moves everyone along. I take death and group it in with all of the other heart-wrenching loss changes which comes with every move we make. Since that is all very natural I can’t say change is bad and therefore I continue to change my costume with every song.

I’ve lost many young and old friends to death. I’ve lost a lot more to lethargy and lack of communication. Change brings sadness to many mammals. It’s a baby creature being pushed out of the tree and forced to go build its own nest. It cries. It mopes! It builds its nest and gets over it. Just as much as it’s a human creature deciding to do whatever it is they feel they need to do to fulfill what they think is life. Change is important and all of those tears of separation are perfectly fine.

It’s the moment you realize that drastic change is unavoidable whether you sit in the same spot or move frantically from chapter to chapter. Change will happen no matter how much you lift the drawbridge and fill the mote with alligators. And if changes haunt like the Reaper then maybe you would rather make some tough calls and live the life you have. Step out and swallow the changes you can make instead of sitting in fear holding tightly on to your tradition, your template and your familiarities.

The Artist D, July 2014

The Artist D, July 2014

One thought on “Never Good at Goodbyes

  1. The phrase “leaving the comfort of a known construct” goes right to the heart of the matter for me, Dee. The crucible of letting go and moving on and away from “the comfort of a known construct” is the measure of a real artist. It’s courageous.


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