I always had a sneaking suspicion about love. I have always studied people falling in and out of love. Love is fleeting and love is mysterious … or so they think. Everybody seeks to be in love, fall in love, stay in love, live a nice long sexy loving relationship. Everybody fails and few retain the love life they always dreamt of.
The mystery to it all is that love is alive. Love is only as human as the humans who love and make it so. Without 2+ people agreeing that they have indeed fallen in love then love exists as well as inserting a round peg into a square hole. To love someone without being loved back is an obsession, possibly a lust, and most definitely a fleeting yet enjoyable fantasy playtime.
The truth about love as I have come to understand it is that love changes. That’s why love is alive and love is people. People change, or are supposed to change! If people change then people change together. If the people who have agreed to be together change and do not change in an agreeable direction then they are growing apart. This is why love ends.
A nifty secret to keep up your sleeve is that love ending shouldn’t be a big deal if it happens. You couldn’t have kept it together much longer anyway. That’s forced sameness and that’s boring.
The fortunate folks are those that get to change together and enjoy it. You’ve got to be a special creature for this to last for long. It has to be a rare statistic where two people can stay together for decades, both having a dynamic range of individual changes, yet still being able to love each other fiercely. There are always rocky periods when both are going through the greatest changes. If they can think it through and not freak out then there is a chance that they can continue to ride the galaxy’s steamroller waves.
In my experiences I would recommend you not take life too seriously. The whole point of riding waves is not expecting them to take you anywhere expected. And then enjoying the new path you are placed on when you get flung their. To decide to take each step as an adventure instead of bucking the change.
Bucking the change is what gets lovers in trouble. Things are never like the first kiss and never like the first honeymoon. They will always be different. You can never go back. That’s why people collect lovers like they collect sea shells. They’re always looking to reclaim the first time feeling and never being quite used to all the feelings that come after that.
Whether you love many or find the one to flow with for the rest of your life, you need to let go to really appreciate true love. To find the one great true love is to not only stop looking, but learn to relax while you morph together instead of grow apart.